The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be. Because of all I may become, I will close my eyes and leap. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher ~

I have not written a post in so long and not sure why exactly other than being insanely busy with all my responsibilities. Then, maybe I got wrapped up in myself and how far I have come I forgot/avoided that which helps me get where I am going. I don’t know, yet, what the bigger picture for me is. I just know there is one. And with all the work I am doing and the coaching I do has recently held a huge mirror up for me. I have become complacent in where I am at and avoiding where I know I want to go. Maybe I am stuck in the enjoyment and celebration of how far I have come and the difference I am making right now. And if I stop the forward momentum I know I am doomed to fall back.

As I have been encouraging so many on how to find that self-worth that most of us seem to have lost I appreciate all that I have found within me. It all starts with me. If I don’t have self-worth I won’t get anywhere… I have been driven this past year to focus on self-worth and how I can create it. I think the worst part for me was the fear of how amazing I might be and sad it was for me to avoid it all these years. Would it be hard? Do I deserve it? Will it take a long time? Will I struggle with it?

The answer to all those questions is yes. It started off as hard because it seemed selfish and conceited. It took me a while to decide I really was worth it. And, yes, at times I still do struggle with it. Why, in our culture, are we almost trained not to have self-worth? To not acknowledge our accomplishments, our gifts, the difference we make in the world? Maybe that is what makes it so scary… Battling the status quo. I tell ya it was hard at the beginning, but with each step I take it does get easier. And each time it gets easier I move on to something bigger. What could be better the being comfortable and loving being in your own skin?

I don’t always know where I am going, but I know where I have been. I close my eyes… and leap!

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the “”Titanic”” who waved off the dessert cart. ~ Erma Louise Bombeck ~

How many moments of enjoyment have you missed because you “had to” do something/be somewhere or “shouldn’t” because of money, work, or guilt… Wow, the list can go on and on huh? (raise your hand!) If joy and happiness is the essence of life why do we short change ourselves and justify why we don’t have it? Starting to see the bigger picture? Sure, we can stop and smell the roses, treat ourselves to that one fish fry or piece of pizza, or relish having a savory,tantalizing dessert! Life is not about denying ourselves of the things we enjoy. It isn’t even about fulfilling our obligations and responsibilities, though that is very important! Life is meant to be lived, to be explored, and to be experienced. If we live our lives in a tiny little box of “need to”s, “have to”s, and “should”s how much are we missing out on????

Last night I sat at a lovely bar sipping a delicious martini waiting for a friend to join me and thought how lucky I was. Having been a single mom for over a decade I was often jealous of all my friends skirting off to happy hour after work and living it up. Now that my kids are old enough and independent and I work near a quaint little bistro with the most friendly staff I sat there contemplating my life and how it is working for me. I do so enjoy sipping flavorful martinis and mingling with fun people. I decided that when I feel so inclined I am going to treat myself to happy hour and try each one of their martinis! Not to make a point of doing it, or plan it, or build it into a structured formula of balance. Simply on impulse… I have come to find those are the moments I really feel I am living.

So, whether it is the dessert cart, happy hour, the piece of pizza, a morning on the golf course, spontaneous rendezvous… Where will you seize your moments today?

You must not only aim right, but draw the bow with all your might. ~ Henry David Thoreau ~

I searched for some time today to find a quote that inspired me. So many things coming to fruition right now and it has been an amazing journey. Though it is not coming to an end, it is transitioning into many new ones. Having been lost in a state of confusion for so long it was hard for me to take aim on anything. Not knowing what I really wanted made it hard to “aim right”. Then WHAM there it is… out of the blue… I know what I want! Here I am, all at once, having my bow drawn and aimed for things I know I want. Career, loved ones, rebuilding my home… Never have I felt so focused on so many things at once. I can’t even begin to explain how peaceful and exhilarating it is all at the same time.

None of it is luck. I envisioned what I wanted, found it, and I am jumping on it as if I will never have another chance again. There are no guarantees there will be other opportunities. No guarantees something better is out there. And no guarantees any of it will work. And I am going for it!

What will you aim for today?

If you decide you are going to feel wonderful, strong, excited – then you have the power to move mountains! ~ Ben Feldman ~

The first time I read this quote I passed it by not thinking twice. Something made me go back a read it again and I wondered how this applied to my life… being excited and moving mountains because I chose to feel that way. Then it hit me… how fearless we are when we were younger. The things we were able to do despite that fact that we didn’t know how dangerous or scary they were. All because there was something we wanted and didn’t let anything come in our way… do you remember those days? I DON’T! But I remember how my children were! lol

This quote reminded me of my youngest when he was only about 18 months old (now my boys were running before they were 10 months old) and he knew there were cookies on top of the refrigerator. I know I had only been in the bathroom a few minutes and I walked around my house looking for him… nowhere to be found! I walked back into the kitchen and heard his giggle, but couldn’t find him. Then I see a chubby little leg swing down the front of my freezer and another little giggle… Sure enough there Jacob sat on top of the refrigerator, face covered in chocolate and cookie crumbs, pleased as punch with himself! He had pulled a chair over to the microwave cart that was next to the refrigerator and climbed up on top and pulled himself up onto the refrigerator to get those cookies!!! He moved mountains to get those cookies…

Imagine what we, as adults, could do if we decided to feel wonderful, strong and excited? To not let our worries and fears (real or perceived) get in the way of what we really want? I am not suggesting putting your life in danger (obviously he had no clue how dangerous that was), but to asses the danger and take precautions maybe, but not to let it stop you!

Will you decide excitement and go for it today?

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction. ~ E.F. Schumacker ~

So easy it is for us to lash out, accuse, get defensive, and create chaos in a world of so many perspective. Why do we feel so threatened by the way someone else may see something? Do we feel there might be a possibility that we might be wrong? That others won’t see things my way? Does this seem like and endless battle going round and round and round? I used to be one of those people. I was always right and you just need to see it my way. What a one-dimensional word that would be…

I was put to the challenge myself yesterday. I needed to heed my own coaching. There was no right or wrong, only a need to create a solution. Many perspectives that did not want to meld. I could have decided to go into F**k it mode and turn my back on everything I believe in or use everything I believe in be a part of a solution. Sound strange? For me, it was about choosing to see things from many perspectives and not judging them, but accepting that they are perspectives. That neither are right or wrong… simply different. And I can choose to be part of the problem or part of the solution. It is the shift in direction that creates peace. It will always create peace in me by being part of the solution. It is up to others to find peace in their choice of direction. Why is it a touch of genius and a lot of courage? Because if it were easy we would all be making these choices all ready!

Which track will you choose to take today?

You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~

There are so many takes, so many views, so many angles… Being a recovering control freak I remember holding on to “my way”. Believing that I had all the answers and my way was the right way, the best way, the only way… (you know you need to raise your hand!) I have to say it is an amazing experience to step back, change the light, cock my head to the side, see past the obvious, and really look at things. To look for something different from what I have always seen. To try to see how someone else might see it. Instead of walking a path with eyes of oblivion in a tunnel, but wide open soaking in the colors, textures, smells, and feelings it all brings. I am finding a new understanding of so many possibilities… not just what I have always seen or how I usually see things.

I have become so much more aware of whats around me and what goes on by being open to see things differently. Even asking questions to understand how someone else might be looking at the exact same thing I am looking at. And it is so very different from what I am seeing. What I may see as ugly someone else may see as beautiful. And what someone may see as decay I see as beautiful texture. With a new-found passion of photography I captured a few images I find beautiful in what I have walked by and ignored most of my life.

How will you choose to look at things with a different perspective today?

Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections. ~ unknown ~

My life is so not perfect right now. One life circumstance after another. After a blow to the right comes a blow to the left… I have held my head high for so long choosing to be happy despite, but today it just feels too heavy to hold up. (yes, raise that hand!) I know it is not possible for me to be happy every second of every day, so I have succumbed to the weight of disappointments and take a break. I can’t make time move faster or make the construction go smoother to move back into my house. I can’t change the economy and make everyone do what works best for me. And no matter how much I give I can’t make anyone feel the same things I feel. There is nothing in my life that is perfect but it is mine…

No matter how sucky things are for me right now I have a great life and I am so F**king lucky in love, friends, peace, joy, health, and circumstance. Yes, circumstance. Things could be so much worse. And though life has gone on for everyone else in my life and sometimes I feel forgotten, the world doesn’t revolve around me. I can choose to keep giving, loving, reaching out, and smiling about it all no matter if I get anything in return. I don’t desire perfection, for I find beauty in the imperfections! It is what makes us unique and special…

So, today I will focus on reconnecting with the peace I have within me and choose joy over disappointments.

Will you choose to surrender to perfectionism or to your own peace and happiness?

We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are. ~ Anais Nin ~

I really enjoyed finding this quote today. So much has been brought to light with my personal insights the last few days. Coming from someone who loved the limelight, being in the center of it all, having my hand in everything going on, needing to know what was going on and who was saying what… (Mmmhmmmm raise your hand) I thought that was how I made my difference in the world. I have begun to realize that when I am standing in that limelight I miss everything else that is going on around me. Living in a place of peace, joy, and self acknowledgment I get to sit back and bask in others glory… see their joy and love. Where I used to see what I didn’t like in someone (which was really what I didn’t like about myself) I see what I love about who I am becoming in others. And I revel in the fact that just by being me I encourage all those qualities to blossom in them in their own way… And the light shines on them!

No one can see what I see. No one has these eyes but me. I choose for them to see in colors of love and beauty. For it to grow and shine through me. In the wonderous hopes that you too might see…

How will you choose to see the world today?

You will find, as you look back upon your life, that the moments when you really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. ~ Henry Drummond ~

Yes indeed… So much of my life I did things out of fear, anger, and resentment and accomplished a lot, but I can honestly say I don’t feel like I was truly living. (yes… raise your hand) I was merely just surviving. So much has happened recently which would normally cause me to go back in to fear, anger or resentment mode and lash out or manipulate situations to my advantage. Even today, with the littlest of things people say and do that used to jerk my heart-strings it is just as easy or me to smile and take a deep breath and choose to accept people just as they are. That’s the moment I truly feel I am in total control and truly living.

I am not in control of anyone else, their feelings, or their reactions to them. I am, however, in total control of my responses. Which means I am in control of my destiny and fully live!

Will you choose to live in the spirit of love today?

Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here. ~ Leo Tolstoy ~

Happiness… the one thing I have really wanted in my life! Yesterday was sheer happiness for me. Not because nothing went wrong. Believe me, things went horribly wrong in some situations… and yet I found the happiness in those moments. There is no trick to it. Only the openness and acceptance to see there is happiness in everything. Look for it. Acknowledge it! Nothing is perfect. Even a rose has thorns and it is considered truly beautiful.

Reality is what I create. I see and create happiness in my life. That is my reality! All the life circumstances that are presented to me, the bullshit and drama created by others, and the yap yap in my head will continue matter what… The question is, how I choose to find and create happiness through it?

Will you choose happiness as your reality today?